i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
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