I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
