if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
