he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
