I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Randomize
