I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
