his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
They took my balls.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
