weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize