That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Randomize
