All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize
