That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
