You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Randomize
