He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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