i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Randomize
