The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
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