My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Randomize
