This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
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