I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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