he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I need a beard to bite.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
