Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
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