Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Randomize
