VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Just cropdusted the office
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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