You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Still dying that you shit outside
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
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