Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
