I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Can you repeat that, but with context?
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Randomize
