What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
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