Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
