Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Randomize
