We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize