Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
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