To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
lets start a swedish sibling band together
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
