Nicole vs. Life
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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