so explain again why im purple
no
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
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