well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
