Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
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