Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Randomize
