In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Randomize
