when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize