ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
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