I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
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