why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
