Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
