Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
i now understand why vodka
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize