That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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