oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
now i know why i became what i already was.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
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