the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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