You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
