Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
And then my night got REAL pukey
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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