I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
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