Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Randomize
