All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
