Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
