if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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