The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Randomize