cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
