Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
