I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
