The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
Randomize
