one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
