I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
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