did you get engaged???
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I got inside last night via doggy door
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
