i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
